You are going to another interview for a job you can definitely do but you don’t actually have the required three years of unpaid internship
experience for. You are feeling uncomfortable with how smartly dressed you are, and the bus is really hot so you are probably sweating your
makeup off a bit. You get there early and they are late and you have forgotten all the things you had to remember to say about how you are
a team player and you just love problem solving and getting people coffees.
Pale skinny guy in a suit: ‘Nice to meet you please sit down. So tell us a bit about yourself?’
‘Yeah I graduated from University last year, since then I’ve been working on building up my experience…’
(Why am I here I sound like a cardboard cutout, fuck being this guy's PA. I didn’t study Finance Capital, I believe in the upheaval of the
Ruddy faced Clammy man: ‘Why do you want to work here?’
‘Well after reading about your passion for forward thinking business, it’s so inspiring…’
(Your website is shit. Can’t wait to work exclusively for men along with the other 25 year old girls in the office booking your train tickets
and re-arranging your diary, very forward thinking)
Paley: ‘Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?’
‘I’m a really hard working person, I really believe in being loyal to the company you work for, I’d really like to progress within…’
(I hope I don’t die working here, lord do not let that happen to me)
Ruddy: ‘What are your strengths and weakness?’
‘I work too hard, I learn new skills to quickly sometimes…’
(Lying about my passion for this job is a strength I never knew I had)
Then they ask if you have any questions for them. So you ask about the rate of pay - they explain that for the first 3 months while they are
training to organise their lives both inside and outside of work you will be earning less than minimum wage and then if you pass probation
you will be on minimum wage, allowed holiday pay and Bupa health care. They say a lot about Bupa health care.
So you stand up and rip off your sweaty Marks & Spencer pencil skirt and you are wearing your ASPIRATION SUITS INTERVIEW
PANTS. Emblazoned across your crotch they read -
'CAPITALISM IS BORING AND SO ARE YOU!'
You whip your hair around as your turn for the door, catching them both in the eyes. And as you sashay away tears stream down